Harvest pitch

Here is my pitch for The Harvest. What do you think?

Revision 3

Angel is the worst of all angels who have ever been angels. She's stubborn, wary of authority, and enjoys eavesdropping.  At least her isn’t exactly complicated.

But then, on a routine trip to Earth, Angel finds something that isn't supposed to exist: a soul with bites taken out of it. Aghast, she is careful with it, gentle as she can be, but the mangled soul shatters just outside heaven's gate.

Following celestial protocol, Angel rushes the disturbing news to her supervisor and they uncover a pattern of destroyed souls.  They take the news to God and she’s sure that it’s out of her hands.  Then she hears His decision: let them die. Furious, she steals a human body and goes to earth, determined to defeat the devouring demon with or without divine sanction.

Her probing reveals more than one problem, though, and soon she's in a battle against forces she can hardly comprehend, let alone fight on her own. God has declared her fallen and the humans she trusts are frail.  Angel has to find the strength to fight the oldest of battles on her own -- and the darkness is already winning.

Revision 2

Angel is the worst of all angels who have ever been angels. She's supposed to be docile, never complain, and calmly do her job – but she doesn’t see any value in holding her tongue, heaven is boring, and her job is idiotically simple.  Guiding souls to heaven after their bodies die isn’t exactly complicated.

But then, on a routine trip to earth, Angel finds something that isn't supposed to exist: a soul with bites taken out of it. Aghast, she is careful with it, gentle as she can be, but the mangled soul shatters just outside heaven's gate.  When she reports the news to her supervisor, they discover a trend of punctured souls all coming from one area: rural West Virginia.

Angel rushes the disturbing news to God, certain that He will send a task force to investigate.  But His decision shocks her.  Leave the souls alone, He says, let them die. Do not interfere.  Furious, Angel steals a human body and goes to earth, determined to find whatever is chewing on souls with or without divine sanction.  God declares her fallen and forbids any angel to help her.

She ignores the implications of her decision and begins the hunt.  Her probing reveals more than one problem, though, and soon she's in a battle against forces she can hardly comprehend, let alone fight on her own. In THE HARVEST, a paranormal YA novel complete at 90,000 words, Angel has to find the strength to fight the oldest of battles: light against darkness -- and the darkness is already winning.

Revision 1

God might be all-knowing, but that doesn't mean everyone listens to Him, not even his angels.

Angel is the worst of all angels who have ever been angels. She's stubborn, wary of authority, and enjoys eavesdropping.  Her curiosity continually gets her into trouble and most recently got her fired from a stupid job ordering rain clouds, so she isn't all that broken up over it.

Her new job is easy enough, but even an idiot could guide souls to heaven after their body died.  But then Angel finds something that isn't supposed to exist: a soul with bites taken out of it. Aghast, she is careful with it, gentle as she can be, but the mangled soul shatters just outside heaven's gate.

Following celestial protocol, Angel reports the disturbing news to God.  Angel is sure that it’s out of her hands, but then she hears God’s decision: let them die. Furious, she steals a human body and heads to rural West Virginia, determined to defeat the devouring demon with or without divine sanction.

Her probing reveals more than one problem, though, and soon she's in a battle against forces she can hardly comprehend, let alone fight. In THE HARVEST, a paranormal YA novel complete at 90,000 words, Angel has to find the strength to fight the oldest of battles: light against darkness -- and the darkness is already winning.

Original
God might be all-knowing, but that doesn't mean everyone listens to Him, not even his angels.

Angel is the worst of all angels who have ever been angels. She's stubborn, disrespectful, enjoys eavesdropping -- she isn't even blonde.  Her curiosity continually gets her into trouble and most recently got her fired (from a job she hated, so she isn't all that broken up over it).

Her new job is easy enough, but then Angel finds something that isn't supposed to exist: a soul with bites taken out of it. Aghast, she is careful with it, gentle as she can be, but the mangled soul shatters just outside heaven's gate.

Following celestial protocol, Angel reports the disturbing news to God.  Angel is sure that it’s out of her hands, but then she hears God’s decision: let them die. Furious, she steals a human body and heads to rural West Virginia, determined to defeat the devouring demon with or without divine sanction.

Her probing reveals more than one problem, though, and soon she's in a battle against forces she can hardly comprehend, let alone fight. 

With hundreds of afterlives in the balance, Angel has to find the strength to fight the oldest of battles: light against darkness -- and the darkness is already winning.